I am a 52 mother of 1 biological child and I have one older adopted daughter who I haven't seen since Saitaina was 6 and she was 18 I have felt fullfilled with Saitaina, I just wanted to give Susan a chance in life since her parents were abusive to her. I hated when she first left but Saitaina was a busy child so she was kind of like a couple of children. I have trouble with depression. I feel lonesome or just displeased with my life,.

I could be in a crowd and feel alone. People dont return my calls yet they say they are my friends. I started a wood class and paid for the second session but have missed the three classes and just uncomfortable to go. Right now I am trying to get it all out but I have to stop because I cry too much to type. I really have a lot to do but I can focus on that today. I have put up a sign in the postoffice everyday and everyday someone takes it down,. When I went to get the mail I was very discouraged. I am always rejected in life. I buy peoples love all the time, to get any help with my house I have to pay a lot of money that I just don't have. No one wants to help me just to be with me, The hospital rejected me two weeks ago when I went for help with my depression. Then when I went to the mental health out patient, they informed me I can only see them 3 times a year for medicine because my insurance pays so little.I am so tired of feeling like this. when I wanted to find someone to play cards the two people I play with didn';t want to.

I am feeling better writing this yet I don't know how long that will last. I was in a terrible mood but I am feeling more hopeful now.,

Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: The telivision